Facebook can sometimes make or break a friendship. There are various reasons that prompt users to defriend someone on their friends list. Are some more valid than others?
Reasons for Defriending
I’m going to list a few reasons that have tempted me to delete someone from my friends list. I have very rarely done this, but I don’t know whether that means I’m more loyal or more tolerant than others are. Hopefully, it’s a good indicator of the high caliber nature of my friends, and my good judgment in selecting whom I choose to call a friend. However, I have seen sides of people come out online that were kept well-hidden for many years. Yes, it can be scary.
1 Rudeness – I can be rather blunt, even obnoxious at times, so it takes a particularly insulting type of rudeness to cross a line with me.
2. Negativity – I like to be surrounded by others who are positive and uplifting. While I have compassion for others, constant whining and complaining is a turnoff. However, those types of posts can be ignored. It’s when I see mean-spirited posts that my dislike buttons get pushed pretty hard.
3. Political differences– I once had a friend post a link to an article about holocaust denial. I was close to defriending him because I found it offensive. Luckily, he explained the post was motivated by a desire to heighten awareness, rather than his own support of such denial. As far as political differences go, that was the closest I’ve come to defriending someone. Some other friends post about many political issues, but I don’t have a problem ignoring those that I simply disagree with.
4. The “ex” – Over the years, I’ve had boyfriends on my Facebook friends list. When we broke up, I thought it was best to sever ties completely, both in real life and the virtual world. In some cases, I was hurt and trying to spare the pain of reading about how they survived happily without me, or even worse, found someone else. In general though, I find it easier to make a clean break, so I can move on.
I’ve only rarely felt it necessary to defriend someone. Perhaps this is due to being selective about my friends. It may also be partly due to being more patient and tolerant as I’ve gotten older. I know there are many other reasons for defriending someone, so feel free to share your defriending experiences. Regardless of whether you were the defriender or defriendee, others may learn something about social media etiquette or friendships in general from your story.
Written by Dana Altman